Remember When You Were Considered An Environmentalist

When We Save The Rain Forest, The Polar Bear, And Al Gore, We Should Party So Hard That Canada Calls The Cops On Us For Noise.

I Have A Horrible Memory And I Used To Consider That A Liability, But I've Learned Along The Way That Talking To People Is Really A Beautiful Thing.

Speaking Of Happy Successes, After Years Of Struggling To Lose Those Few Extra Pounds Every Mother Puts On During Adoption, Particularly When The Doctor Orders Bed Rest, In 2004 I Sent My Assistant To The Gap In Dark Glasses With A Fake Id To Purchase My First Pair Of Easy Fit Jeans.

I Get The First Flight Out From Anywhere I Am Because I Have To Come Home To My Kids.

I Have Jokes I've Told Before And Will Tell Again, But My Favorite Part Of The Night Is Talking To The Crowd.