I Was Born In Alabama, But I

My Mom Said She Learned How To Swim When Someone Took Her Out In The Lake And Threw Her Off The Boat. I Said, 'mom, They Weren't Trying To Teach You How To Swim.'

I'm The Only Person I Know Of Who's Ever Been Pulled Over For Attempted Speeding.

The Wages Of Sin Are Death, But By The Time Taxes Are Taken Out, It's Just Sort Of A Tired Feeling.

It's Funny That We Think Of Libraries As Quiet Demure Places Where We Are Shushed By Dusty, Bun-balancing, Bespectacled Women. The Truth Is Libraries Are Raucous Clubhouses For Free Speech, Controversy And Community. Librarians Have Stood Up To The Patriot Act, Sat Down With Noisy Toddlers And Reached Out To Illiterate Adults. Libraries Can Never Be Shushed.

I've Decided That Perhaps I'm Bulimic And Just Keep Forgetting To Purge.