I Was Court-ordered To Alcoholics Anonymous On

I Was The Youngest In My Family. When The Other Kids Went To School, My Mother Would Make Them Breakfast And Then She Would Go Back To Bed For An Hour, So I Was Sort Of Babysat By Television.

I'm Thankful For The Three Ounce Ziploc Bag, So That I Have Somewhere To Put My Savings.

I Can Make Things, But I Don't Cook Them, Exactly. Like Salmon, I Can Stick That In A Pan. Or The Other Day I Made Noodles, But They Were Hard. It Never Occurred To Me To Check Them; I Just Stopped Cooking Them When I Felt They Were Ready. Really, I'm Too Absentminded.

I Used To Watch 'the Waltons' And Sob Because My Family Was Nothing Like That. We Had A Cruel Sense Of Humor In My Family.

I Also Like A Great Caesar Salad With Anchovies, Although I Don't Know Why Some Places Say 'with Anchovies.' If You're Making A Proper Caesar Salad, It's Going To Have Anchovies.