I Don't Feel Old. I Don't Feel

My Next Door Neighbor Just Had A Pacemaker Installed. They're Still Working The Bugs Out, Though. Every Time He Makes Love, My Garage Door Opens.

Where Else But In America Could The Women's Liberation Movement Take Off Their Bras, Then Go On Tv To Complain About Their Lack Of Support?

Out Here In The Pacific, They Have Typhoons And Hurricanes That Blow Over 200 Miles An Hour. We Have Tornadoes And Hurricanes Back Home, But I Don't Worry About Them. The Mortgage On My House Is So Heavy That Nothing Could Budge It.

I Have The Perfect Simplified Tax Form For Government. Why Don't They Just Print Our Money With A Return Address On It?

Milton Hope Led The Singing Of Happy Birthday ... He Would Say, 'keep It Sweet And Short And Don't Try To Be Funny.'