I Could Be The Greta Garbo Of

No Man Will Ever Put His Hand Up Your Dress Looking For A Library Card.

Here's A Thanksgiving Tip. Generally, Your Turkey Is Not Cooked Enough If It Passes You The Cranberry Sauce.

Mel Gibson's Father Doesn't Think There Was A Holocaust? Great. I Don't Think There's A Movie. We're Even.

I Hate Mcdonald's. I Don't Want To Order My Dinner By Yelling Into A Clown's Mouth. If I Want My Face In A Clown's Mouth, I'll Tongue Kiss Glenn Beck.

I've Learned From Doing My Own Show With Fox That People Are Not Your Partners If They're Signing The Checks. Whoever Signs Your Paycheck Is The Boss - No Matter What They Tell You.