I Can't Get Married. I Can't Fake

Designers Don't Put Out The Same Sweater Every Year. They Just Keep Creating.

When I Was Growing Up In Comedy, There Were Maybe 10 Comics In The Whole Country. Everyone Had A Day Job. You Worked Free For Years In Little Clubs, Then You Got Your Big Break And Became A Star.

Incredibly, Almost Every Hotel I Ever Played In Vegas Was Blown Up Shortly Afterward: The Dunes, The Sands, The Landmark, The Aladdin, The Frontier, The Hacienda, The Stardust - All Were Imploded.

Comedy Is A Blood Sport. It Flays The Truth And Spurts Twisted Logic. In America, People Become Comics Because We Don't Have Bullfighting.

President Reagan Is A Lot Like E.t. He's Cute, He's Lovable, And He Knows Nothing About How Americans Live.