I Can't Get Married. I Can't Fake

I Run Everywhere And Eavesdrop. It's The Best Way To See A City.

As A Standup Comedian, I've Worked Almost Every New Year's Eve Of My Adult Life. It's The Best-paying Night Of The Year.

I Am Thankful The Most Important Key In History Was Invented. It's Not The Key To Your House, Your Car, Your Boat, Your Safety Deposit Box, Your Bike Lock Or Your Private Community. It's The Key To Order, Sanity, And Peace Of Mind. The Key Is 'delete.'

Incredibly, Almost Every Hotel I Ever Played In Vegas Was Blown Up Shortly Afterward: The Dunes, The Sands, The Landmark, The Aladdin, The Frontier, The Hacienda, The Stardust - All Were Imploded.

I Love Being Down At Occupy Wall Street. The Sincerity, The Youth Involvement, The Desire For Better, Is Palpable And Moving. There Is True Caring, Sharing, And Refreshingly Naïve Hope.