I Can't Defend Someone Else's Jokes. I

Maybe I'm Corny, But I'm A Big Believer In Second Chances.

My Best Friend Is Disabled. There's Nothing He Hates More Than Being Left Out Of The Jokes, To Be Treated With Kid Gloves. That's The Insult.

I Want The Roast To Be Like A Party Where Everybody Goes And Has A Good Time.

With Everybody Having A Facebook And A Twitter, I Feel Like Regular People Consider Themselves Stars. It's A Live, Real-time Upload Of Every Time We Buy A Pair Of Socks, The Most Telling Sign That We're Losing Our Politeness. When You Know Everything About Somebody, You Can Talk To Them Any Way You Please.

The Real Question Is How Do You Stay Funny In Your 70s And 80s? And That's A Real Accomplishment, You Know, The Longevity.