As Soon As You Start Analyzing Comedy

I Think Jersey Stands Alone, And Because I'm From Jersey, I Never Make Fun Of Where People Are From. I'll Make Fun Of What They Look Like, But I'll Never Make Fun Of Where They Are From. Jersey Is Special.

Comedy Comes From Pain, And No One Knows That Better Than This Woman Roseanne Barr—who Was Molested As A Child. Uch. That Poor Molester. Roseanne Never Got Over It. She Felt Violated. She Had Trust Issues. She Never Got The Candy He Promised Her.

I Would Vote For You For President But I'm Against Big Government.

I've Always Liked Cops, As Much As You Can Like A Group Of People, You Know? Sure, I've Been Hassled, But I'm A White Dude - Privileged.

Charlie Sheen Is To Stand-up What Larry Flynt Is To Standing Up.