I Am Not A Glutton - I

Cleanliness Is Not Next To Godliness. It Isn't Even In The Same Neighborhood. No One Has Ever Gotten A Religious Experience Out Of Removing Burned-on Cheese From The Grill Of The Toaster Oven.

There's Nothing Sadder In This World Than To Awake Christmas Morning And Not Be A Child.

Cats Invented Self-esteem.

I Was Leafing Through A Magazine Where There Was A Before-and-after Picture Of A Woman Who Went From A Size 5 To A Size 3 By Liposuction. Was She Serious? I've Cooked Bigger Turkeys Than Her "before" Picture.

I Didn't Fight My Way To The Top Of The Food Chain To Be A Vegetarian.