I Am No More Humble Than My

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I'm Schizophrenic, And So Am I.

I Never Read Bad Reviews About Myself, Because My Friends Invariably Tell Me About Them.

An Epigram Is Only A Wisecrack That's Played At Carnegie Hall.

[madame Nhu Was] The Sandra Dee Of South Vietnam. If I Were Cast On A Desert Island With Her, I Would Quickly Make Friends With The Natives.

I Could Never Have A Mistress, Because I Couldn't Bear To Tell The Story Of My Life All Over Again.