I Am A Guy Who Talks About

Stand-up Is An Amazing Art Form, I Think, Because It's All About You Having Complete Control Of The Situation, But Absolutely None.

That's Not To Say That I'm A Well-informed Catholic. I'm Still In Idiot.

Gyms Are Always Packed. The Only Machine Available Is The One That Simulates The Gynecological Exam. You Know, The Sharon Stone Machine.

But In Indiana It's Not Like New York Where Everyone's Like, 'we're From New York And We're The Best' Or 'we're From Texas And We Like Things Big' It's More Like 'we're From Indiana And We're Gonna Move.

Now That I'm Married And Have Two Beautiful Children, It Really Makes Me Appreciate... Being Alone.