I Think The Worst Professional Advice I

I Always Imagine That If I Met Dr. Seuss, He Would Be Very Similar To Crispin Glover.

I Always Want My Standup Act To Appeal To Everybody In The Room, And When I Started Standup, And I Would See People Talk About Their Kids And Their Wife, And I'd Always Cringe A Little Bit, Like, 'i Can't Get A Date, I Don't Know What You're Talking About.'

I'm Not A Strict Vegetarian. I Do Eat Beef And Pork. And Chicken. But Not Fish 'cause That's Disgusting! How Do You Know When Fish Goes Bad? It Smells Like Fish Either Way! 'hey This Smells Like A Dumpster, Lets Eat It!'

Babies Should Be Classified As An Antidepressant. It's Pretty Hard To Be In A Bad Mood Around A 5-month-old Baby.

I'm A Comedian, Which Is The Opposite Of A Lifestyle That Equips You To Be A Parent.