My Whole Comic Persona Is That Of

You Ever Mix Two Different Groups Of Friends? That Can Be Stressful. You Always Feel Like You Have To Prep 'em. You're Like, "these People Over Here, Uh, They Don't Think I Drink. And Don't Be Thrown By My British Accent."

My Wife's Gotten Really Lazy, Or As She Calls It, 'pregnant.'

The Hardest Part Of The Day Is All The Stuff After I Open My Eyes In The Morning.

Imagine You're Drowning, And Someone Hands You A Baby.

I Should Clarify That Anyone That Goes Onstage And Makes Strangers Laugh Is Insane. So I Am Insane.