I Always Wanted To Do A B&e.

Ex-girlfriends Will Find Themselves In My New Routine. Sometimes They Like That, And Sometimes They Definitely Do Not. But Comedians Should Come With A Giant Warning Or Disclaimer: If You Date Me, It Will Be In My Act.

When People Refer To 'back In The Day,' It Was A Wednesday. Just A Little Fun Fact For You.

I'm Really Great In Other Peoples Relationships.

I Saw A Young Boy Eating An Ice Cream Cone, ... I Smashed It In His Face. You Know That Kid Is Going To Remember Me When He's 50.

I'm Glad That My Parents Missed One Thing That Was Really Unbelievable. They Saw Me Hit This Great Success. It Was A Blast And We Had A Lot Of Laughs. And It Was Just An Amazing Time. They Passed Away. And Then After I Got, You Know, Famous, All These Haters Came Out Of Nowhere.