I Was Very Good At Kickball ...

If You're Drunk Please Don't Drive. If You're On Shrooms Please Don't Think Walmart's A Prison For Bad Clothing That Needs Help Escaping.

I'm Interested In Doing Anything And Everything That I Can To Squeeze The Creativity Out Of My Brain. I Guess I'm Kind Of A Performance Rat, That's What I Want To Do, I Love Being On Stage If I'm Not On A Set. I Just Love Putting Creativity Into A Performance.

We're All Gonna Lie, We're All Gonna Cry, And We're All Gonna Take Painful Shits.

I'm Sure That People Who Have Been Tweeting Funny Things Have Ended Up On Writing Staffs Of A Late Night Show.

I Love Hecklers. They Remind You That You Are A Comedian.