Housework Can't Kill You, But Why Take

Every Time I Go Near The Stove, The Dog Howls.

Keep At Least One Window Pane Clean To Check The Weather. Once When I Didn't Do This I Sent The Kids Off With Umbrellas For Six Weeks Straight.

Once Fang Took Pep Pills And They Worked - The Only Time He Ever Ran To Bed.

Mothers-in-law Do Not Make Good House Pets. Once I Had The Most Wonderful Dream -- I Dreamed That Mothers-in-law Cost Money And I Couldn't Afford One.

Most Children Threaten At Times To Run Away From Home. This Is The Only Thing That Keeps Some Parents Going.