Horse Racing Is Waning In Popularity.

When I Was Growing Up In Comedy, There Were Maybe 10 Comics In The Whole Country. Everyone Had A Day Job. You Worked Free For Years In Little Clubs, Then You Got Your Big Break And Became A Star.

I Can't Get Married. I Can't Fake Sleep For 30 Years.

Designers Don't Put Out The Same Sweater Every Year. They Just Keep Creating.

People Want Sex Education Out Of The Schools. They Believe Sex Education Causes Promiscuity. Hey, I Took Algebra, But I Never Do Math.

My Belief Is That Guns Are Too Easy To Get In America. My Belief Is That The Nra Has Bought Much Of Our Congress, To The Point That Guns Are Actually The Only Unregulated Consumer Product In America. Think About That. It's Stunning.