Horse Racing Is Waning In Popularity.

We Have Women In The Military, But They Don't Put Us In The Front Lines. They Don't Know If We Can Fight, If We Can Kill. I Think We Can. All The General Has To Do Is Walk Over To The Women And Say, 'you See The Enemy Over There? They Say You Look Fat In Those Uniforms.'

Stand-up Is Like A Movie Every Night. You Write It, Direct It, Produce It, The Audience Votes, And You Go Home. There's Nothing More Satisfying.

When The Sun Comes Up, I Have Morals Again.

Horse Racing Is Waning In Popularity.

You Never See A Man Walking Down The Street With A Woman Who Has A Little Potbelly And A Bald Spot.