Horse Racing Is Waning In Popularity.

I Know What Men Want. Men Want To Be Really, Really Close To Someone Who Will Leave Them Alone.

For Me, Comedy Is A Day-to-day Report On The Human Condition. It's What's Happening Right Now. I Get Maybe 20 Minutes Of My Act Straight From The Newspaper.

Comedy Is A Blood Sport. It Flays The Truth And Spurts Twisted Logic. In America, People Become Comics Because We Don't Have Bullfighting.

I Wasn't Funny As A Kid. I Remember Enjoying Comedians, But I Never Understood It Was A Job Choice Or A Profession.

Horse Racing Is Waning In Popularity.