Hit The Ball Up To The Hole...

May Thy Ball Lie In Green Pastures, And Not In Still Waters.

I Play Golf With Friends Sometimes, But There Are Never Friendly Games.

Relax? How Can Anybody Relax And Play Golf? You Have To Grip The Club, Don't You?

You Only Hit A Straight Ball By Accident. The Ball Is Going To Move Right Or Left Every Time You Hit It, So You Had Better Make It Go One Way Or The Other.

I Dreamed One Night That I Had 17 Holes-in-one And One Two, And When I Woke Up I Was So Goddam Mad.