Heart Disease Has Changed My Eating Habits,

The Iq And The Life Expectancy Of The Average American Recently Passed Each Other In Opposite Directions.

I Went To A Bookstore And Asked The Saleswoman, 'where's The Self-help Section?' She Said If She Told Me, It Would Defeat The Purpose.

Once You Leave The Womb, Conservatives Don't Care About You Until You Reach Military Age. Then You're Just What They're Looking For. Conservatives Want Live Babies So They Can Raise Them To Be Dead Soldiers.

Humor Is Based On Surprise, And Surprise Is A Milder Way Of Saying Shock. It's Surprise That Makes The Joke.

You Know The Good Part About All Those Executions In Texas? Fewer Texans.