Googling Me, You Talk About Being Depressed.

Don't Do Drugs To Be Cool, Do 'em Because You Hate Yourself.

I'm A Comic, So I Like To Stay Nocturnal. I Work 10 P.m. To 1 A.m.

I've Never Been Swimming, And That's Because It's Never Been More Than Half An Hour Since I Last Ate.

'course The World Of Sports Takes Itself Way Too Serious. Sports Writers Are All High And Mighty.

Frank Sebastiano Is A Real Write. He Has Two Emmys, One From 'snl' And The Other From 'the Chris Rock Show' . The Only Award I Have Is An Fm-mmy.