My Dad Was Superman To Me, And

All I Can Say Is That You Only Realize How Big Your Mountain Is Once Youre Laying Motionless, Helpless, And Hopeless In The Valley Below. No One Goes There On Purpose, If You Get What Im Saying, Because The Only Way To Find Your Personal Low Is To Slip And Roll Down That Mountain Of Yours, Straight Through To The Bottom, No Holds Barred.

I Had A Career Before The Stern Show, On Mad Tv. I Was On The First Two Seasons Of That And I Got Kicked Off It Because Of Possession Of Cocaine.

A Weekend In Vegas Without Gambling And Drinking Is Just Like Being A Born-again Christian.

For A Degenerate Like Me, Vegas Is Like A Walk Down Memory Lane. Last Time I Went To Vegas, I Went To My Old Coke Dealer's Kid's Bar Mitzvah.

I've Never Been Swimming, And That's Because It's Never Been More Than Half An Hour Since I Last Ate.