For Some Reason, Religious Jokes Seem As

Ambiguity — The Devil's Volleyball.

I Thought I Was Raptured Up Into The Air Today; Turns Out, It Was Just My Gas Oven Exploding.

My Girlfriend Said, Just Buy Me Something Crazy And Expensive, Something I Don't Even Need! So, I Signed Her Up For Radiation Treatment.

I've Been At Stand-up 26 Years Now: After A While, You Get As Jaded As The Proverbial Gynecologist Who No Longer Enjoys Drugging And Violating His Patients.

I Asked The Head Musician If I Could Go Onstage During The Next Break And He Said Sure. I Got Two Laughs In Twenty Minutes, And Walked Out Feeling More Elated Than I Had Ever Felt In My Entire Life. The Glory Of That Triumph Contented Me For Two Full Years.