Everytime I Go To Vegas, I Seem

Of Course In Show Business There Are Two Ways To Play It And I Am Not Politically Correct So I Am Not Going To Get Endorsements Or Anything Like That

It's Not A Drug Problem, Until You Run Out Of Money. Until Then It's Just Drugs.

I Quit Drinking, And I Figure If I Go To Ten Yankee Games This Year Without Drinking I'll Save $32,000.

Artie Is Going To Do What Ever Artie Wants To Do.

I've Never Been Swimming, And That's Because It's Never Been More Than Half An Hour Since I Last Ate.