Everything I Tell You Is True, But

Professional Comedians, Surprisingly, Have A Lack Of Humor. They're Insensitive To The Insanity Of Our Times.

Will Rogers…used To Come Out With A Newspaper And Pretend He Was A Yokel Criticizing The Intellectuals Who Ran The Government. I Come Out With A Newspaper And Pretend I’m An Intellectual Making Fun Of The Yokels Running The Government.

A Conservative Doesn't Want Anything To Happen For The First Time; A Liberal Feels It Should Happen, But Not Now.

I Don't Believe In Good People And Bad People. I Believe In The Better Parts Of People.

Remember That No Matter How Selfish, How Cruel, How Unfeeling You Have Been Today, Every Time You Take A Breath, You Make A Flower Happy.