If You Can't Join Them, Beat Them.

I'm For Capital Punishment. You've Got To Execute People. How Else Are They Going To Learn?

When Obama Ran, He Said, We Can Change The World! The World: Can You Change It Back?!

People Tell Me There Are A Lot Of Guys Like Me, Which Doesn't Explain Why I'm Lonely.

Will Rogers…used To Come Out With A Newspaper And Pretend He Was A Yokel Criticizing The Intellectuals Who Ran The Government. I Come Out With A Newspaper And Pretend I’m An Intellectual Making Fun Of The Yokels Running The Government.

Television Is Never More False Than When It's Openly Sincere.