If You Can't Join Them, Beat Them.

Liberals Feel Unworthy Of Their Possessions. Conservatives Feel They Deserve Everything They've Stolen.

You Know Me, I Love Lost Causes.

Washington Couldn't Tell A Lie, Nixon Couldn't Tell The Truth, And Reagan Couldn't Tell The Difference.

Most People Past College Age Are Not Atheists. It's Too Hard To Be In Society, For One Thing. Because You Don't Get Any Days Off. And If You're An Agnostic You Don't Know Whether You Get Them Off Or Not.

What Happens In Vegas, Stays In Vegas - Except The Drone.