Every Man's Dream Is To Be Able

I Get Paid For What Most Kids Get Punished For.

When I Was Onstage Doing The Work, Adrenaline Killed The Pain Because I Never Hurt In Front Of An Audience.

Comedy Is A Man In Trouble. And Without It, There's No Humor.

I've Had Great Success Being A Total Idiot.

I Have A Loyalty That Runs In My Bloodstream, When I Lock Into Someone Or Something, You Can't Get Me Away From It Because I Commit That Thoroughly. That's In Friendship, That's A Deal, That's A Commitment. Don't Give Me Paper - I Can Get The Same Lawyer Who Drew It Up To Break It. But If You Shake My Hand, That's For Life.