Comedy Is A Man In Trouble. And

I Turned Down 'some Like It Hot.' See How Smart I Am? I Felt I Couldn't Bring Anything Funny To It. The Outfit Was Funny. I Don't Need To Compete With The Wardrobe.

Pity? You Don't Want To Be Pitied Because You're A Cripple In A Wheelchair? Stay In Your House!

I Never Got A Formal Education. So My Intellect Is My Common Sense. I Don't Have Anything Else Going For Me. And My Common Sense Opens The Door To Instinct.

I've Had Great Success Being A Total Idiot.

I Never Tell An Audience What They Can Expect. I Never Have And I Never Will. I'm An Entertainer For 75 Years.