Comedy, Like Sodomy, Is An Unnatural Act.

Hookers Have To Deliver On Their Promise... Unlike Politicians.

Sex Is Two Plus Two Making Five, Rather Than Four. Sex Is The X Ingredient That You Can't Define, And It's That X Ingredient Between Two People That Make Both A Man And A Woman Good In Bed. It's All Relative. There Are No Rules.

You Offer A Sincere Compliment On A Great Mustache And Suddenly She's Not Your Friend.

I Won't Eat Anything That Has Intelligent Life, But I'd Gladly Eat A Network Executive Or A Politician.

I Don't Want To Be A Director. I Want To Direct. There's A Difference.