Clowns Have No Respect For Pie.

My Friend Named His Car. And I Don't Want To Be Judgemental, But... What A Dork.

Vampire Fad Just Won't Die. Makes Sense, I Guess.

When Someone Describes Themself As A Taxpayer, They're About To Be An Asshole.

One Of My Favorite Clothing Patterns Is Camouflage. Because When You're In The Woods It Makes You Blend In. But When You're Not It Does Just The Opposite. It's Like, 'hey, There's An Asshole.'

When I Was In High School I Experimented Sexually. The Experiment Was To Never Have Sex With Anybody No Matter How Hard I Tried. Success! Hypothesis Confirmed.