Before We Make Love, My Husband Takes

I Think Any Celebrity That Adopts A Child From A Third World Country Is A Fool.

At My Funeral, I Want Meryl Streep Crying In Five Different Accents.

To Maintain Success, Stamina Is More Important Than Talent. You Have To Learn To Be A Marathon Runner.

The Fun Of Working On The Road Means Stealing From Hotels. I've Been Doing It For So Long, I Have A Set Of Towels From The Ark.

You Know It's Time To Start Using Mouthwash When Your Dentist Leaves The Room And Sends In A Canary.