Never Floss A Stranger.

I Think It Was Cosby Who Also Said To Me, 'if Only 2 Percent Of The World Thinks You're Funny, You'll Still Fill Stadiums For The Rest Of Your Life.'

Before We Make Love My Husband Takes A Pain Killer. I Blame My Mother For My Poor Sex Life. All She Told Me Was, 'the Man Goes On Top And The Woman Underneath'. For Three Years My Husband And I Slept On Bunk Beds. I'm A Double Bagger. Not Only Does My Husband Put A Bag Over My Face When We're Making Love, But He Also Puts A Bag Over His Head In Case Mine Falls Off. It's So Long Since I've Had Sex, I've Forgotten Who Ties Up Whom. My Best Birth Control Now Is To Leave The Lights On.

Run Scared ... And They Never Catch You.

Don't Talk To Me About Gravity. When I Get Out Of Bed In The Morning, I Have To Be Careful Not To Step On My Breasts.

All Babies Look Like Renée Zellweger Pushed Against A Glass Window.