At My Age I'm Envious Of A

My Son's An Idiot. His Teacher Asked Him To Spell Mississippi. He Asked Which One? The River Or The State?

I Worked In A Pet Store And People Would Ask How Big I Would Get.

You Live With Life's Disappointments And Learn From Them. At Seventy-eight, I Know It All.

My Wife Is So Fat That The Last Time I Saw Something That Big It Was Grazing.

My Wife Was Afraid Of The Dark. Then She Saw Me Naked, And Now She's Afraid Of The Light.