As Soon As The War Ended, We

It's Amazing How Many People You See On Tv. I Did My First Television Show A Month Ago, And The Next Day Five Million Television Sets Were Sold. The People Who Couldn't Sell Theirs Threw Them Away.

It Was A Great Honour To Be Inducted Into The Hall Of Fame. I Didn't Know They Had A Caddie Division.

Everybody Is Afraid They Won't Have Any Money After They Die, But Jack Benny Discovered A Way To Take It With Him. He Had His Appendix Taken Out And A Piggy Bank Put In.

I Don't Feel Old. I Don't Feel Anything Till Noon. That's When It's Time For My Nap.

If You Haven't Got Any Charity In Your Heart, You Have The Worst Kind Of Heart Trouble.