Are You Shooting Webs Of Stupid At

So, I Travel A Lot. I Hate Traveling, Mostly 'cause My Dad Used To Beat Me With A Globe.

This One Guy, The Worst Guy In The Music. The Yanni Man. You Know Yanni? First Of All, Anyone Who Looks Like A Magician And Doesn't Do Magic, I Don't Like. I Don't Even Like Magic, I Hate It. But I Love The Word, "ta-da"! I Love That Word! I Don't Get To Say It, Right? I Never Do Any Magic. You Just Can't Go Around Walking, "ta-da!" "ta-da!" "ta-da!" The Only Time I Can Say It Is When I Do Something Really Stupid Or Surprising. Like If I Go Out All Night Drinking And Hitting Strip Clubs And I Come Home And I Still Got Some Money... "ta-da!" I Thought I Was Broke. Why Does My Jaw Hurt?

Everyone Was Laughin'. Even That Deaf Mute Boy Was Breathing Heavy And Pointing At Me. Which Is Laughter To Their Kind.

My Gym Has Two-pound Weights. If You're Using Two-pound Weights, How Did You Even Open The Door To The Gym? What's Your Dream? To Pump Up And Open Your Mail?

Why Do They Collect Garbarge At 5am? Why? It's Garbage. It's Not Going To Go Bad Again.