Anytime Four New Yorkers Get Into A

Happiness Is Seeing The Muscular Lifeguard All The Girls Were Admiring Leave The Beach Hand In Hand With Another Muscular Lifeguard.

There's A Lot Of Hypocrisy In Audiences. I'd Never Dream Of Telling Even On A Nightclub Stage, Let Alone My Show, Some Of The Jokes That Are Told In A Lot Of The Living Rooms From Which We Get Those Letters!

Maybe We Should Hold The Next [olympic] Games In Afghanistan And Hope The Soviets Pull Out Of That One Too.

We Resort, Frankly, To Pies, Which Is A Comedy Staple That's Gone Back, I Guess, To Since The First Pie Was Ever Baked.

The Worst Gift Is A Fruitcake. There Is Only One Fruitcake In The Entire World, And People Keep Sending It To Each Other.