Anyone Who Has Two Shirts When Someone

The Crooks Downtown Figured Out That Comedy Is Like A Hammer. It Can Put Up A Barn And It Can Knock Down A Wall. So They Bought It Outright And Marketed It As Comedy Central.

I Was Surprised When Nixon Passed The Test And Showed Up In Heaven, But, I Guess Hitler Threw Off The Curve For Our Century.

Part Of The Kick Of Making People Laugh Was Doing Something Different. We Were A Rare Breed - Spotting One Of Us Was Like Pinning A Space Alien, Or Abdominal Snowman. There Were Maybe A Hundred Stand-ups In The Whole Country When I Was Doing It.

Once The Country Was Settled And Built, The Bosses Changed The Order From A Stack Of Educated Workers To A Barrel Of Minimum Wage Lottery Dreamers.

If You Can Take The Hot Lead Enema, Then You Can Cast The First Stone.