The Role Of A Comedian Is To

My Only Challenge Was To Tell My Truth, Man... Figure Out What I Had To Say. These Days, It's Not Enough To Boost That Roomful Of Strangers. The Young Comic Spends All Their Time Trying To Sound Different From The Million Other Jokesters Grabbing For The Mic.

Children Ought To Watch Pornographic Movies: It's Healthier Than Learning About Sex From Hollywood.

All My Humor Is Based Upon Destruction And Despair. If The Whole World Were Tranquil, Without Disease And Violence, I’d Be Standing On The Breadline Right In Back Of J. Edgar Hoover.

Every Day People Are Straying Away From The Church And Going Back To God.

To Say Whatever Nonsense Comes Into Your Head Without Any Repercussions Has Got To Be A Bigger High Than Heckling A Movie Screen In A Darkened Theater.