I'm Not A Comedian. I'm Lenny Bruce.

I Tried The Religion Scam In Miami, So I Know How Hard That Gig Is. But, If You Can Get It To Work, Starting Your Own Religion Is A License To Print Money.

Communism Is Like One Big Phone Company.

What You End Up With Is Outrageousness Without The Laugh - Comedy As Electro Shock Therapy.

You Can't Do Anything With Anybody's Body To Make It Dirty To Me. Six People, Eight People, One Person - You Can Do Only One Thing To Make It Dirty: Kill It. Hiroshima Was Dirty.

The Only Truly Anonymous Donor Is The Guy Who Knocks Up Your Daughter.