Always Be Nice To Your Children Because

I Was So Wrinkled I Could Screw My Hats On.

I Wanted To Become Me, Totally Me. The More Me, The Better. I Instinctively Knew This And I Was Right.

The Only Parts Left Of My Original Body Are My Elbows.

My Plastic Surgeon ... Said My Face Looked Like A Bouquet Of Elbows.

Isn't My Fur Stole Pitiful? How Unsuccessful Can A Girl Look? People Think I'm Wearing Anchovies. The Worst Of It Is, I Trapped These Under My Own Sink.