All The Men In My Family Were

Now Don't Say You Can't Swear Off Drinking; It's Easy. I've Done It A Thousand Times.

Try Till You Succeed...if You Don't Succeed Once, Then Destroy All Evidence Of The Fact That You Tried!

How Is The Human Race Going To Survive Now That The Cost Of Living Has Gone Up Two Dollars A Quart?

Was I In Here Last Night And Did I Spend A $20 Bill? Oh, Thank Goodness... I Thought I'd Lost It.

There's No Such Thing As A Tough Child - If You Parboil Them First For Seven Hours, They Always Come Out Tender.