A Man Walks Into A Pet Shop

What's The Difference Between My Wife And A Terrorist? You Can Negotiate With A Terrorist.

Doctor Told Me I've Got Two Weeks To Live. I Said: "can I Have The Last Week In July And The 1st Week In August?"

I'm Staying In A Lovely Hotel, Dressing Robe Behind The Door, Lovely Fluffy Sheets - Took Me A Half An Hour Getting My Suitcase Closed.

America Has Only 100 Senators For 309 Million People, But Stormont Has 108 Members For 1.7 Million.

I Was Going Up To The Bathroom And A Woman Asked Me: "have You A Good Memory For Faces?" I Asked Why And She Said: "because There Isn't A Mirror Up There."