List of Neil Simon Quotes

I Don't Like Dating Or Just Living With A Woman. I Like To Create A Relationship, A Marriage. And Almost All Of My Marriages Have Involved Children, So I'm Really A Family Man As Well.

Baptists Are Only Funny Underwater.

I Never Write A Play With An Eye To Film.

Sports Is The Only Entertainment Where, No Matter How Many Times You Go Back, You Never Know The Ending.

Standing On A Ledge Again. Everyone Laughs At Dancing Monkey With The Typewriter. Not For Long, Though.

I Much Prefer Writing An Original Movie With The Screen In Mind To Transferring A Play To The Screen.

The First Book Was My First Attempt At Writing Full-length Prose.

Evan Handler's New Book Is Simply Wonderful. He Pulls You Inside His Life, And You Come Out His Very Close Friend.

There Are Two Million Interesting People In New York And Only Seventy-eight In Los Angeles.

Goldie Hawn Is Funny, Sexy, Beautiful, Talented, Intelligent, Warm, And Consistently Sunny. Other Than That, She Doesn't Impress Me At All.

You Get Attached To The Way You Write, And I'm Attached To Notebooks. That's Where I Really Write The Plays. Just Two Or Three Pages At A Time, Then I Transfer To The Typewriter And Rewrite While I Type.

I Don't Use Computers... I'm Someone Who Needs To See The Page Right Away In My Hand.