Baptists Are Only Funny Underwater.

Don't Listen To Those Who Say, You Taking Too Big A Chance. Michelangelo Would Have Painted The Sistine Floor, And It Would Surely Be Rubbed Out By Today.

I Got Brown Sandwiches And Green Sandwiches. Its Either Very New Cheese Or Very Old Meat. - Oscar Madison, From The Odd Couple

I Don't Like Dating Or Just Living With A Woman. I Like To Create A Relationship, A Marriage. And Almost All Of My Marriages Have Involved Children, So I'm Really A Family Man As Well.

People With Honorary Awards Are Looked Upon With Disfavor. Would You Let An Honorary Mechanic Fix Your Brand-new Mercedes?

I Don’t Like Writing For Comedians. I Like Writing For Actors. The Best Comedians Are The Best Actors.