You Might Think That's An Exaggeration But

I Wasn't Really That Informed About The Two-year-old. Oh, I'd Read About Them, And Occasionally I'd See Documentaries On The Discovery Channel Showing Two-year-olds In The Wild, Where They Belong.

People Think Living In Your Parents' Basement Until You're Twenty-nine Is Lame. But What They Don't Realize Is That While You're There, You Save Money On Rent, Food, And Dates.

It Seems To Be A Common Denominator With A Lot Of Comics, This Low Self-esteem Thing.

The Married Man Has All But Eliminated That Worry From His Life, Simply Because His Wife Knows All About Him: The Good, The Bad, And The Tiny.

I Don't Want To Be A Spokesman For Family Values, But That's The Way My Standup Is Perceived.