I Have This Mistress: Show Business.

My Wife Gets All The Money I Make. I Just Get An Apple And Clean Clothes Every Morning.

I Wasn't Really That Informed About The Two-year-old. Oh, I'd Read About Them, And Occasionally I'd See Documentaries On The Discovery Channel Showing Two-year-olds In The Wild, Where They Belong.

That's When You Know You're A True Married Couple: When You Have To Apologize For What You Did In Her Dream.

If Golf Wasn't Enjoyable And There Wasn't A Lot Of Humor And Enjoyment, Even Though The Game Is So Frustrating, You Would Wonder Why You Put Yourself Through It.

In School, I Wasn't A Very Good Student - I Was Very Irresponsible And Never Did The Studying But Always Liked To Get The Laugh.