You Might Be A Redneck If You

You Don't Get Married To Get Sex. Getting Married To Get Sex Is Like Buying A 747 To Get Free Peanuts.

I've Gotten To The Point I Won't Even Watch The 11 O'clock News. You Just Walk Away From It Thinking How Bad Everything Is.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Have Been Fired From A Construction Job Because Of Your Appearance.

If Your Stomach Blocks Your View Of Your Feet, Cover It Up! The Only People Who Should Be Wearing Belly Shirts Are People Who Don't Have Bellies. Now Those Little Baby Spare Tires Are Kinda Cute; Tractor Tires Aren't! Especially If They've Got Hair On Them!

I Got My Wife A Mood Ring. It Works Real Good! When Shes In A Good Mood It Turns Blue, But When Shes In A Bad Mood Theres A Red Mark Across My Forehead