You Might Be A Redneck If Your

The Only Negative About Doing Stand-up Is That You're On The Road By Yourself. When You're On The Road With Comics We Just Crack Each Other Up Every Night Going, "can You Believe They're Paying Us To Do This? They're Crazy.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Have Flowers Planted In A Bathroom Appliance In Your Front Yard.

The Things That I'm Talking About Not Knowing, They're Not Mysteries Of The Universe; It's Just Stuff I Thought I Would Know By The Time I Was Thirty-nine.

I'll Just Have Itchy, Watery Eyes!

You May Be A Redneck If... Your Lifetime Goal Is To Own A Fireworks Stand.