You Know You've Reached Middle Age When

Anger Is A Symptom, A Way Of Cloaking And Expressing Feelings Too Awful To Experience Directly - Hurt, Bitterness, Grief And, Most Of All, Fear.

Every Television Show You Go On Is A Choice.

Never Floss With A Stranger.

The Fun Of Working On The Road Means Stealing From Hotels. I've Been Doing It For So Long, I Have A Set Of Towels From The Ark.

I'm No Cook. When I Want Lemon On Chicken, I Spray It With Pledge.