You Know, If I Don't Make It

As A Kid I Watched Television 24 Hours A Day And Loved Every Minute Of It. The Two Shows That Always Make Me Laugh And Are Therefore My Favorites Are The Dick Van Dyke Show And Fawlty Towers.

Onstage I Do All The Stuff I'd Never Do In Real Life, Like Lashing Out At People Who Make Me Mad Or Freaking Out In A Long Bank Lineup. Performing Allows Me To Fulfill All The Sicko Fantasies I've Ever Had.

I Believe It Was Shakespeare Who Said, 'all The World's A Stage, And You Are Crap!'

You Know, In The 1970's, When I Was In High School, I Belonged To A Band Called The Happy Funk Band. Until An Unfortunate Typo Caused Us To Be Expelled From School.

You Know, If I Don't Make It When I Go Out There In That Weather Balloon Into That Thunder Storm. I Want, You To Take Your Ear And Give It To My Wife.