Women Will Do Anything Oprah Winfrey Says,

I Was At Yankee Stadium One Time At 5 A.m., But That Was To Buy Angel Dust

I Snorted Heroin Once By Accident. It Was Amazing. But Kids, Don't Snort Heroin. It's Too Good.

Frank Sebastiano Is A Real Write. He Has Two Emmys, One From 'snl' And The Other From 'the Chris Rock Show' . The Only Award I Have Is An Fm-mmy.

Whiskey Will Always Be A Part Of My Life.

For A Degenerate Like Me, Vegas Is Like A Walk Down Memory Lane. Last Time I Went To Vegas, I Went To My Old Coke Dealer's Kid's Bar Mitzvah.